Only Way Out
by CriminalOutsider'sGirl14
Summary: "They locked up all the knifes and sharp objects, but the funny thing is, I'm already dying; I'm dying without spilling any blood." They say it'll get better, but I don't see how. Two-shot. Warning: Suicide
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: Ponyboy's Deadly Guilt**

 **Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own "The Outsiders" or any of the Curtis' Gang. :( Sad. The real owner of "The Outsiders" is my favorite author, the fabulous S.E. Hinton. I also do not make a profit from the stories that I write here on this site.**

 **A/N: If you like it, love it, or even if you hate it, you know what to do. Tell me in a review. I would love it if you favored, followed, and/or if you gave me (a) suggestion(s). Thank you. :)**

 **I'm posting a one-shot to make up for my absence.**

 ****Whoever is the sixth reviewer gets to suggestion a one-shot for me to post! :)**

 **This is written as like a suicide note, so ignore the strange way I arranged his thoughts. It's suppose to be like that. :)**

 **Ponyboy's POV**

Have you ever gotten so low, so depressed that life itself is too hard? I have. After Johnny and Dally died I tried to kill myself.

Darry found me holding a gun to my head in my room. I shot, but cruelly I missed. Someone up there really hates me, making me live. It's too hard.

My brother's locked up all the knifes and sharp object, but the funny thing is, I'm already dying; I'm dying without spilling any blood. But mark my words, one day, soon, I might just explode. And it'll be ugly.

Even my depression medicine is counted for me.

It's all my fault. If I wasn't so stupid, if I didn't decide to play hero then Johnny wouldn't be dead. I'm a greaser, a no good hood, not some super hero from a comic.

I couldn't even be a hero if I tried.

There was only way out, away from all the pain. I don't deserve to be here, I'm sorry. My brother's don't deserve this, but I do.

The only way out is to go into Darry's room and find the aspirin. Once in locate it I took the entire bottle and wait for the medicine to take action. Darry and Sodapop were working all day, they would never find me until it was too late.

I'm sorry, Darry. I'm sorry.

I did what I needed to do.

I don't even write them a note. They need to move on without me. One day they'll realize that is for the best, wherever I go I always seem to bring death along with me.

 _It'll all be over soon_ , I think.

 **A/N: Please review! Was it any good? Remember: Sixth reviewer gets to suggestion a one-shot!**

 **Aufenthalt Gold,**

 **~Alee xXx**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Waiting In Sick Anticipation**

 **Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own "The Outsiders" or any of the Curtis' Gang. :( Sad. The real owner of "The Outsiders" is my favorite author, the fabulous S.E. Hinton. I also do not make a profit from the stories that I write here on this site.**

 **A/N: If you like it, love it, or even if you hate it, you know what to do. Tell me in a review. I would love it if you favored, followed, and/or if you gave me (a) suggestion(s). Thank you. :)**

 **Ponyboy's POV (November 14th, 1966 6:27 p.m.)  
**

You know what it's like, when you wait in anticipation for something and it never happens? That's what waiting to die is like. I was sick, and I wanted to be whole again. I was ready for all the pain and guilt to go away.

But it didn't. My stomach felt like it was eating itself, but I didn't die, not yet. My eyelids didn't get heavy.

That's how Soda found me; curled up on the couch and groaning with a empty pill bottle lying on the table, the lid thrown off haphazardly.

"Ponyboy!" He shouted, running to my side. He cursed in a quick, panicked voice and ran towards the phone. I couldn't hear what he was saying or who he was even talking to.

"Soda-Pop," I moaned, dragging out his name in a pained voice. I separated each syllable slowly.

"...gonna be here soon, Ponyboy...don't worry..." I only caught parts of what Sodapop said. I weakly grabbed onto his hand.

"I'm shoorry, Sh'da," I slurred.

"Ponyboy! Dang it, Ponyboy, stay with me," he begged frantically. That was the last thing that I heard. It felt like bricks were on top of my eyelids and I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer. They slowly slipped shut, despite my body's protests.

 **Third Person POV (One year later)**

Darry walked up to his youngest brother, Ponyoy's, simple headstone. He brushed off some of the dirt and felt something wet slip down his cheek. He took a deep breathe and began talking, words spilling out of his mouth like he was having a regular, casual conversation.

"I can't believe it's already been a year, Ponyboy. It seems like just yesterday that I found Sodapop clutching onto you got dear life on the couch, sobbing." Darry paused, "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you, that you felt like you had to do that. Kill yourself. I miss you so much, 'lil Colt. I wish you were here. I love you, and I've always loved you," he finished shakily. He took one last look at his youngest brother's grave before walking slowly back to his truck, reminiscing about the event that brought him there.

 **A/N: Thank you to Darrylover4ever for inspiring me to add a second chapter to this story, and thank you to everyone who reviewed! **

**Stay Gold Y'all,**

 **~ Alee**


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